Recalling our date night on
Thursday, June 25th, I remember everything seemed normal except for
your Nascar laps around our kitchen area.
Our sitter had arrived and was wrestling with the kids. We went to
dinner and came home. Later that night you complained about your stomach
hurting. I went to work the next day,
got home the next morning, and we were headed to my brother’s birthday party
for the day. Well, Holly was not in a
good place. She asked me to come feel her
abdominal area and stated, “to make sure I am not crazy”. You laid down on the floor and placed my hand
on the area you wanted me to feel and it was obvious at first touch. I thought to myself, yeah that’s different
and not normal. I thought it might be a
red flag if you feel something in your abdominal area that almost covers my
entire palm of hand. I don’t really
remember what I said to you, but it wasn’t the most comforting words you have
heard since you lost it right there on the floor. You see, I am not a worrier
and I think Holly would tell you she is jealous of this about me. There is no
telling what was going through Holly’s mind and all I could say was, “hey, it’s
going to be fine”, “it will work out”, “don’t worry about it”, “whatever it is,
the doctor’s will figure it out and fix it.”
As we were walking out the door,
she said, “take me to the hospital, I have to talk to someone.” I thought to myself, “on a Saturday? Is this
girl nuts?’ “You got to be kidding me,
right?’ Then I smiled and said ok,
where do you want to go? To make a
long story short, she met with her ob/gyn doctor on Monday and on Tues morning,
Dr. Smith was removing this white, balloon shaped mass that set up shop on her ovary. The turn around time from the doctor’s
appointment on Monday to surgery on Tuesday was remarkable. We both know the Good Lord had his hand in
this the entire time. He probably thought,
you know what, she is going to stroke-out if this is prolonged, so here, let’s
open this door……”does tomorrow morning work for you, my young daughter?”
The surgery
went as expected. She was free and
clear of this cyst. Nothing remarkable
showed from the tests run at the hospital.
Hey, I thought, great, tape it up, rub some dirt on it, and lets go
home. I probably had some yard work
waiting on me, too, so hey lets go!
About a
week and a half later, we had our bags packed and ready for the beach (her
happy place!). One day before we were to
start in the direction of Florida, Dr. Smith called and gave Holly some news
that floored her. Something like “with
further test run, your type of cyst came back as cancerous.” And, “I have you scheduled for an appointment
with an oncologist in one hour.” I was
running errands in town, getting ready for our vacation when she called and broke
the news. I didn’t know what to
say. I just told her I am headed home
and we will get to the appointment.
All this
being said, God is actually in control, believe it or not. I can’t explain how the timing of all this
worked out. A doctor’s appointment on
Monday and surgery on Tuesday. A call
from your doctor with bad news to an appointment an hour later to learn how
they are going to treat and whip this cancer.
I can only imagine how our vacation would have turned out, if you would
have had your toes in the sand and received this information. But instead, God took care of the timing
knowing this is exactly the timetable you need.
It allowed us to process this new chapter in our lives, while we enjoyed
his marvelous works of great families, friends, white sand, and beautiful
water. Her happy place!
Look at
where you are now Holly! Your last
treatment is today! This thing they call
“chemotherapy” is brutal! During your
first full week of treatments, I thought this is not going to be bad at all. Look at her, she is upright, walking around,
doing her thang! Then the first weekend
hit! O my! What has happened to my wife! You looked and felt like death warmed
over. This was not your happy
place. Mine either!
During
these few months of treatment, you have had mostly tough days and some that
were good. But through this all, you
have kept your heart, mind, and eyes on Him.
You have been an inspiration to many and most importantly to your
family. God has chiseled away many
things that we both struggle with. We
are both still a work in progress; all for His Glory. I have battled a lot of selfishness during
this time. I mean, for Will, twice, to
pick the worst two weeks of this treatment to decide he doesn’t want to
poop! (Lets get real here, he struggles
with constipation) Cap after cap of miralax……nothing…...more
caps…..nothing……..you are miserable and sick on the couch…..then BOOM! The volcano has erupted! I am now knee deep in 20-25 diapers a
day. Come on man! Why me God?
This is ridiculous. I admit I
struggled at times during these last few months. Carrying the load of our day-to-day life was
draining at times, but God was opening up my eyes to my selfishness. All along, He had a plan for me too. Through this, He wanted me to become a better
husband, father, and leader of our family.
I hate that you had to go through this and prayerful that it never
returns, but being able to grow personally was beneficial to me.
All kidding
aside, well not really, because it was actually 20-25 both times; life is not
always white sand and beautiful water.
Sometimes, the red flag is flying, the water is nasty, rough, with rip
tides that will pull you under. What are
we supposed to do? Run away from it all,
worry, have a pity-party in selfishness, or constantly question You? Nope!
We should call on the Lord, Jesus Christ, our Savior, and if we believe
in Him, He will calm those waters and any storm that we may face.
I love you
Holly and your family loves you so much!
I can’t wait to watch and hear you ring that bell! Jesus, this is all for you.
“He only is my rock and salvation; My
stronghold; I shall not be shaken.”
Psalm
62:6
Comments
Post a Comment