Living in Freedom as a Woman

Today I go in for removal of the dermoid cyst on my left ovary. The plan is to try to remove the cyst and leave the ovary. If he is unable to, then I will have a full hysterectomy. He will send a frozen section of the cyst to the pathologist to review while I am in the OR. He is not worried this is cancer. But, it still has to come out. Here I am, almost 6 months to the very day of my last surgery. It's a little surreal. I have had lots of flashbacks to those days in June. I look back at see how much the Lord has changed my heart in the last six months. Thank you Lord! Reading through my journal from June 28th I see a much different person writing down her thoughts. I see someone drowning in fears and trying to control every single second of her life.  A complete wreck! This morning's Rick Warren devotional describes how I feel now perfectly.... “Faith unlocks the promises of God and it shows us the power of God and it turns dreams into reality and it gives us the

This past week I had my scheduled three month follow-up. I went in on Thursday for a CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. This was the first scan I had since completing my course of chemotherapy. Just a routine scan. Then on Friday, I went in to see Dr. Oh. Good news and bad news…. Good news is there was NO sign of metastasis or cancer in my body. The bad news is there is a small cyst that appears to be a dermoid cyst on my left (and only) ovary. Almost all (like 98%) of dermoid cysts are benign (not cancer). Unfortunately for me the first time around mine was in the 2% and cancerous. This time around my doctor feels very strongly this is not cancer, but these type of cysts do not go away on their own. So, I must have it removed. He is really hoping to preserve my ovary and just remove the cyst. But, we will only know that for sure once he gets in there. I am having an ultrasound in the morning to look better at the cyst. I will then go see Dr. Oh right after to discuss the sono and ma

The Christmas season is upon us. My most favorite time of the year. This season brings about so many warm, fuzzy memories of growing up with my parents and sister. Visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Big family gatherings. Now I have my own family and my husband’s family. So many loved ones. We are making new memories with our own children. We are starting our own traditions. This Christmas season I have a whole new perspective. Cory and I have been doing an Advent devotional with our children the past two weeks. Advent. The second coming of Christ. We have been reading through the scriptures and teaching our children about how God fulfilled His promises through the birth of a baby. The Savior of the world. Just as we read tonight. He was not what they expected. Yet his birth and all the circumstances around that day in Bethlehem only speak to the true nature of God. His compassion for the world. Everyone in that day was expecting Hercules. They were waiting on their

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name. Psalm 100:4 thanks·giv·ing ( noun) -  the expression of gratitude, especially to God. thank ( verb) -   express gratitude to (someone), especially by saying “Thank you” Thanksgiving Day. Today is a special day for a number of reasons. Thanksgiving is defined as “the expression of gratitude to God” (Dictionary). Today most of us will gather with our loved ones. We will celebrate with a spread of traditional foods and watch football games; at least, that is what we have always done. I find comfort in just being with my family, in my parent’s home. All seems right with the world when we are all together. Although, we are sad Cory is working today. The life of a fireman. Today, as I sit around with my family, I find myself reflecting over the last few months. What a year. There is so much to be thankful for. The Lord has carried me and my family through some of the darkest d

“ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”   2 Corinthians 1:4 Attention all Team Holly members! I wanted to share with you an amazing opportunity the Lord has laid on my heart. I am so blessed to have been given the love and support that I have over the last few months. It truly is how I got through this journey to this point. I can never express how thankful I am. During this process, I have felt this heaviness for other women who are or who will be going through the same journey. For many reasons, the Lord has laid it on my heart to reach out to help these women. I want to give them hope when they may feel none at all.  I would like to make care bags to give to women who are diagnosed with ovarian cancer. This is a bag that will be filled with a list of items that I found helpful during my journey. The bags will be given to women at my doctor’s office by his a

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4 Walking through the valley As I sit here on the beach thinking over the last few months. The last time i was here was when I had just been diagnosed with cancer.  Fear marked my every move. I was paralyzed by thoughts racing through my mind of the unknown.  Thinking of all that I would have to endure over upcoming months. Would the treatment even work? Would my family be able to endure what was to Come?  I could not eat, I could barely do anything. Completely traumatized from the inside out.  As I continued to grasp for some sense of control, I felt the Lord whispering to me " just let go, trust me. I am making you new ".  Th

 " She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the   Lord   will be greatly praised. ”   P roverbs 31:25, 30 Several weeks ago, a dear friend of mine came to our house to take some family pictures. Honestly, when she first told me she wanted to do this for our family I wanted to say “no”. Why in the world would I want to take pictures? I do not want to remember how I look. I have always loved taking family pictures. Talk about wasted time and energy though. Finding the perfect family outfits, getting children dressed and hair fixed perfectly, a husband who hates having pictures made. Sounds glorious, huh? I am sure none of you have any idea what I am talking about. J Before cancer, my outward appearance was something I struggled with; definitely an idol. More like a bottomless pit of dissatisfaction with my looks and my weight; the defeating feeling of nev