Living in Freedom as a Woman

“To risk is to willingly place your life in the hand of an unseen God and an unknown future, then to watch him come through. He starts to get real when you live like that.” (Jennie Allen, “Anything”) It’s been a little over two weeks since one word forever changed my life. Cancer. The first few days after are still such a blur. We left for Florida the day I after we found out. Nothing like twelve hours in a car to deal with this new reality.  Really amazing though how it all worked out that we got to spend a week in paradise. If there’s any place to digest this news, this is the best I can imagine. I have always said that the beach is the place that I always feel closest to Jesus. I love just listening to the sounds of the waves, like it’s His peace washing over me. It’s endless. Just like His love for me. The first few days are still such a blur. They were awful really. Lots of tears. My worst fear has always been that I would have cancer . That I would not live to see

07.09.15 Well I must say, this is not the post I expected to be making this week. Today has not turned out as to be expected. I was supposed to return back to work today after recovering from surgery last week. I woke up and had this sense that I should just work from home for a few hours and then go in for a short time before I head to my post-op appointment. Around 9:30am my phone started ringing, the caller ID read it was my OB’s office. Why would she be calling me when I am going in to see her in a few short hours?   It was Dr. Smith. She said she had gotten the pathology results of my cyst. The pathologist there had even sent it off to another institution to confirm their suspicions. It was indeed a cancerous tumor on my ovary. Gulp . That was the first of many moments today that took my breath away, and not in a good way. Dr. Smith also told me that when she performed the surgery, there were no signs anywhere of anything suspicious. They also did a “washout” and sent t

Psalm 62:5-6  (ESV) 5  For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,      for my hope is from him. 6  He only is my rock and my salvation,      my fortress; I shall not be shaken. One week ago today (June 29th), at this very moment, I sat in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. What a whirlwind of a day, rather the last few days, leading up to that moment. My doctor was running behind. I sat in that chair trying to focus on everything other than the fact that I likely had a massive tumor in my uterus. Let’s back it up a few days to Thursday, June 25 th . I noticed a “mass” in my lower abdomen. I am pretty in tune to my body and when things change. Being a medical provider, I started going through all my differential diagnoses. I called my OB/GYN and the earliest appointment was on Tuesday (June 30 th ). Holy cow, like 5 days away! (Door closed #1) Over the next few days, the anxiety began to take over. And Google… oh my, for something so helpful, it really is the