Living in Freedom as a Woman

Sadly I realized that I haven't written since I went for my post op visit. I went in for my visit with Dr. Oh back at the beginning of the month. Thankfully, my cysts were benign. He gave me the all clear from cancer. The plan is to see my OB for a regular check in February and then see him again in May. I was so relieved to hear him say these words. The Lord carried me through these last few months... He is good. I am not the same. Thankfully so. I am thankful for cancer. I am sure most will think I am crazy for saying that, but it's true. I was on a path the would ultimately lead to destruction. The path of self-reliance. Life is so much easier letting go of the need to control everything and trust God to care for every detail for me. No matter what that looks like.  It's exactly how he intended us to live. I started back to work part time. It has been good to start to slowly get back into the swing of things. It definitely feels different now. My purpose there at least

Yesterday was a really rough one. Mentally. Cory was working. I got the kids ready and took them both to school. In the car on the way home from dropping Will off it hit me. Like a brick wall. I was/am scared to death of the final pathology showing that my cyst is cancerous. I am scared at the thought that the cancer is back. I texted a couple of friends and just asked them to start praying. Then I cried. A lot. I cried out to the Lord for Him to comfort me. I told him I was scared (like he didn’t already know). Who am I kidding? One of my dear friends and mentor called me and shared with me this story in the bible. We talked through this and a few other thought-provoking questions trying to get to the root of how I was feeling. If you grew up in church, you have heard this story, like me, a thousand times. I can retell it and quickly skim through it. But for this particular time, when we read through two verses, I was struck by an amazing faith displayed by these men involved. Le

Last Tuesday, I went to surgery to have my cyst removed. Dr. Oh was able to remove the cyst and only had to partially remove my ovary. So instead of two ovaries, I now have ½ of one. Evidently that will still work for me. My doctor had a section of my cyst sent off to pathology while I was in the OR. It was read as benign at that time. The remainder of my surgery went well. I was able to go home that night and have had a pretty normal recovery. While physically I am doing pretty well, emotionally I have been all over the place. As in my last surgery, they sent my cyst for a full pathology examination. I will get those results when I go see Dr. Oh on Friday. The waiting has been horrible. I remember the first time around I wasn’t very nervous because in the OR at the time of my first cyst removal it was read as benign. I did have thoughts about “what-if” it was cancer, but never dwelt on that or worried too much because it was read as benign initially. Well this time around is a