Living in Freedom as a Woman

I sit here in a darkened ICU room. Everything all so familiar. The sounds, the smells, the people. Except this time it is totally different. This time I'm on the other side of the crib. This time I'm holding my son. This time it will be my son who is having open heart surgery.   Countless times I've been the one to get a child ready to go to the operating room. Straighten all the IV tubings in my typical OCD fashion. You would think we got awards for the neatest ICU bed. But no, that was just one of the innate characteristics of being an ICU nurse. Everything had to be in its place. The pumps in order, the lines straightened, the bed clean. Patient ready. All of those I enjoyed doing. Ultimately though it was my way of controlling a horrible situation. I mean let's me honest, it's not normal for babies to be sick in an ICU. It's actually awful. Being a nurse in the ICU taught me so many things about life, but I never imagined what it would prepare

The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning. It’s time to sing your song again. Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me. Let me be singing when the evening comes. Bless the Lord O my soul, O my soul. Worship His holy name. Sing like never before. O my soul. I’ll worship your holy name.     Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me. We have had almost two months to prepare for this, yet I don’t feel ready. Whatever lies before me… Let me be singing… Bless the Lord. Reid goes to the heart cath lab in less than a week. The first time didn’t work out so well for us. My mind is already trying to drift “there”. The what-ifs… the fears… What if his heart pressures are not better? What if he isn’t a candidate for future heart surgeries? I will be honest. I have been wrestling these last few weeks with the Lord. Lord, you didn’t bring him to us just to take him away did you? We just got him. I know you have big plans for Him. You’ve already shown your grace