Cancer from a mother's perspective....

From a Mother’s perspective…

by Lisa Thomas

From the time you were born, you have always been our headstrong child. Sometimes it was a good thing and some times it wasn't. You were the one that always asked “why not” when you were told you couldn't do something.  After the third time, I would tell you “because I am the mama and when you get to be the mama you can do what you want”.  Now that you are a mama you might understand “why” better. We have been through a lot during your growing years, but his by far the toughest. You called me on Saturday before your surgery and said you would be going to the doctor Monday because you felt “something” in your lower abdomen. We were worried but knew it wouldn’t be anything bad. However, when you called back on Monday and said you were having surgery on Tuesday for the mass it was a little bit different feeling.

When Cory came out after the surgery it was a great day. The first pathology report showed it to be benign. Praises all around the room!  On July 9^th, I had just gotten out of a meeting at work and was driving back to my office. My phone rang and you were crying. You said, “Dr. Smith just called me and said it is cancer!”  Shock of all shocks. My heart sank. You didn't know any details except that you were going to see the oncologist at 11:00. All I could think to say is “it will be ok”.  When we got to the doctor’s office, he started going over everything with all of us.  He was giving out so much information about results and treatments and all he kept saying, “ Is this clear? Do you understand?”  I wanted to tell him “No”; this isn't something that you understand. You feel like a kid again and all you want to do is ask “Why”?  And there is no good answer.

As a parent, you always want to take away the hurt for your kids and make their  “booboos” better; but we couldn't do that for you now. All we could do was hug you, tell you how much we love you and pray.  We could see the scared look on your face and couldn’t make that go away. On the way home that afternoon, we kept asking, “Why does she have to go through this?”  We don't understand. How do you help with something that you don't understand? 

Even in this tough time, we still have such a peace about this because we know and believe that God is in control of all that is going on and he is taking care of you. This has strengthened our prayer life and it is making us stronger in our love for Jesus because we know he is taking care of one of the most precious things he has given us – You. 

When you started your treatments, we prayed it would be easy on you and it was for about 3 days but on the 4^th day it hit. The nausea was horrible and it just wouldn't go away. Everyone kept telling you to eat something and drink something, thinking it might help.  I don't know how many times I told you “I know how it feels.” But the sad thing is I don’t know because I haven't been through this. The first weekend when the nausea had gotten so bad and it wasn't getting any better you said “we need to call the doctor” and my heart sank again. The doctor said you needed to go to the emergency room for more fluids. Your daddy had to take you because Cory was working. We know he doesn't handle his family being sick very well.  He was with you all night until Cory could get there.  He said “I am not leaving her here alone!”   The funny thing about this (if you can say that) is the next day you were asking me “how is daddy doing?”.

You and Cory have the most amazing friends, co-workers and church family. The love and support that they are giving y’all is truly unbelievable. They are everywhere and have been from day 1.  They are bringing special notes to your door, food to the house, and are praying for you around the clock. The list goes on and on.  We can't say enough about how this helps us to know you have all of this support.

As you are getting ready to start the 2^nd cycle of treatments, we are praying that this time is easier for you and Cory.  The doctors are now aware of how you respond to the medicine and know you what you need. Hopefully with adjustments it will not be as bad this time.   We know this is busy week with treatments and trying to get everything together for school starting the next week so we are praying that the stress and worry will be less.

My final note:  When you and Amy were little, you would want to walk instead of being carried because you were “big girls”. I would always have you walk behind me and hold my back pocket. I knew you were there and you wouldn't get lost as long as we're holding my pocket. Now, I pray that you hold on to God’s back pocket. He is walking before you through all of this. He is guiding you, he knows what is ahead and he is protecting you.  He has promised to be with you always.  You know this too because your faith is so strong.

Romans 4:20-21 says “ Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. “

We love you, 

Mama and Daddy