Living in Freedom as a Woman

Sadly I realized that I haven't written since I went for my post op visit. I went in for my visit with Dr. Oh back at the beginning of the month. Thankfully, my cysts were benign. He gave me the all clear from cancer. The plan is to see my OB for a regular check in February and then see him again in May. I was so relieved to hear him say these words. The Lord carried me through these last few months... He is good. I am not the same. Thankfully so. I am thankful for cancer. I am sure most will think I am crazy for saying that, but it's true. I was on a path the would ultimately lead to destruction. The path of self-reliance. Life is so much easier letting go of the need to control everything and trust God to care for every detail for me. No matter what that looks like.  It's exactly how he intended us to live. I started back to work part time. It has been good to start to slowly get back into the swing of things. It definitely feels different now. My purpose there at least...

Yesterday was a really rough one. Mentally. Cory was working. I got the kids ready and took them both to school. In the car on the way home from dropping Will off it hit me. Like a brick wall. I was/am scared to death of the final pathology showing that my cyst is cancerous. I am scared at the thought that the cancer is back. I texted a couple of friends and just asked them to start praying. Then I cried. A lot. I cried out to the Lord for Him to comfort me. I told him I was scared (like he didn’t already know). Who am I kidding? One of my dear friends and mentor called me and shared with me this story in the bible. We talked through this and a few other thought-provoking questions trying to get to the root of how I was feeling. If you grew up in church, you have heard this story, like me, a thousand times. I can retell it and quickly skim through it. But for this particular time, when we read through two verses, I was struck by an amazing faith displayed by these men involved. Le...

Last Tuesday, I went to surgery to have my cyst removed. Dr. Oh was able to remove the cyst and only had to partially remove my ovary. So instead of two ovaries, I now have ½ of one. Evidently that will still work for me. My doctor had a section of my cyst sent off to pathology while I was in the OR. It was read as benign at that time. The remainder of my surgery went well. I was able to go home that night and have had a pretty normal recovery. While physically I am doing pretty well, emotionally I have been all over the place. As in my last surgery, they sent my cyst for a full pathology examination. I will get those results when I go see Dr. Oh on Friday. The waiting has been horrible. I remember the first time around I wasn’t very nervous because in the OR at the time of my first cyst removal it was read as benign. I did have thoughts about “what-if” it was cancer, but never dwelt on that or worried too much because it was read as benign initially. Well this time around is a ...

Today I go in for removal of the dermoid cyst on my left ovary. The plan is to try to remove the cyst and leave the ovary. If he is unable to, then I will have a full hysterectomy. He will send a frozen section of the cyst to the pathologist to review while I am in the OR. He is not worried this is cancer. But, it still has to come out. Here I am, almost 6 months to the very day of my last surgery. It's a little surreal. I have had lots of flashbacks to those days in June. I look back at see how much the Lord has changed my heart in the last six months. Thank you Lord! Reading through my journal from June 28th I see a much different person writing down her thoughts. I see someone drowning in fears and trying to control every single second of her life.  A complete wreck! This morning's Rick Warren devotional describes how I feel now perfectly.... “Faith unlocks the promises of God and it shows us the power of God and it turns dreams into reality and it gives us the ...

This past week I had my scheduled three month follow-up. I went in on Thursday for a CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. This was the first scan I had since completing my course of chemotherapy. Just a routine scan. Then on Friday, I went in to see Dr. Oh. Good news and bad news…. Good news is there was NO sign of metastasis or cancer in my body. The bad news is there is a small cyst that appears to be a dermoid cyst on my left (and only) ovary. Almost all (like 98%) of dermoid cysts are benign (not cancer). Unfortunately for me the first time around mine was in the 2% and cancerous. This time around my doctor feels very strongly this is not cancer, but these type of cysts do not go away on their own. So, I must have it removed. He is really hoping to preserve my ovary and just remove the cyst. But, we will only know that for sure once he gets in there. I am having an ultrasound in the morning to look better at the cyst. I will then go see Dr. Oh right after to discuss the sono and ma...

The Christmas season is upon us. My most favorite time of the year. This season brings about so many warm, fuzzy memories of growing up with my parents and sister. Visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Big family gatherings. Now I have my own family and my husband’s family. So many loved ones. We are making new memories with our own children. We are starting our own traditions. This Christmas season I have a whole new perspective. Cory and I have been doing an Advent devotional with our children the past two weeks. Advent. The second coming of Christ. We have been reading through the scriptures and teaching our children about how God fulfilled His promises through the birth of a baby. The Savior of the world. Just as we read tonight. He was not what they expected. Yet his birth and all the circumstances around that day in Bethlehem only speak to the true nature of God. His compassion for the world. Everyone in that day was expecting Hercules. They were waiting on their...

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name. Psalm 100:4 thanks·giv·ing ( noun) -  the expression of gratitude, especially to God. thank ( verb) -   express gratitude to (someone), especially by saying “Thank you” Thanksgiving Day. Today is a special day for a number of reasons. Thanksgiving is defined as “the expression of gratitude to God” (Dictionary). Today most of us will gather with our loved ones. We will celebrate with a spread of traditional foods and watch football games; at least, that is what we have always done. I find comfort in just being with my family, in my parent’s home. All seems right with the world when we are all together. Although, we are sad Cory is working today. The life of a fireman. Today, as I sit around with my family, I find myself reflecting over the last few months. What a year. There is so much to be thankful for. The Lord has carried me and my family through some of the ...